The Ministry of Transport...

Typed on the go. Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors. The Blackberry doesn't have spell check. Also, sorry for the length but to get the real feel for this entry it must be a little long.

Today I am trying to renew some documents at the Ministry of Transport. It is 9:41 and there is still no power in the building. I have a feeling this could be quite a day. I didn't register my bike last year because it was never on the road. So I need to take a few extra steps to get registered for 2009 and not have to pay for 2008. I came equipped with a letter Andrew wrote saying that I was not on the road at all in 2008. First stop is the Deputy Director who then sends me to the Deputy Minister's office. There is no power so I am asked to wait in this tiny office. The secretary has stamped and signed my letter but I think I need to talk to the Deputy Minister so I wait. I should have brought a newspaper. I would have made some friends in the office. They are just as bored as I am. No power for the computers means they can't play solitaire or email on yahoo. A side note. Liberians love yahoo mail. Most business owners and government officials use yahoo's service. I wonder if Ma Ellen uses yahoo too?

10:05 Still no electricity. The secretary is now sorting throug piles of scraps of paper in her desk. Now there is a guy at the desk to my right. He is a true government emlpoyee. He is reading the sports section and leaning against the wall.

10:13 The guy next to me now knows that his boss is just downstairs and will be here momentarily. Unphased, he continues to read the sports section. Someone is cleaning out the bathroom nextdoor. It smells like urine. Liberians need to drink more water so their pee doesn't smell so bad.

10:16 Deputy Minister has arrived! Now I wait knowing he is in his office. Yeeeeaaaahhhh!

10:21 Didn't actually need to see the Deputy Minister, just needed his signature. The secretary just walked me to a few different offices trying to find the Deputy Director. He is MIA. Now I wait in the hall.

10:34 I have now been moved out of the hallway by the Minister back to the office I was originally in. The man to my right is now clipping his nails. "So honey how was your day at the office?" "Oh it was rough! There was no current and I had to read the sports section and clip my finger nails instead of emailing and playing solitaire"
If these guys ever catch on to Facebook the entire country may colapse. Unless of course we made a Facebook app to do government work. Then it would seems fun. I think I am on the fasttrack now. Cabinet members don't like white guys milling around waiting. It makes their ministries seem inefficient. Oh and still no power, but the street lights are on in the middle of the day.

10:39 The secretary, now named Charlotte has walked me across the street to the Ministry of Finance where they have apparently paid their light bill and this place is buzzing. Printers are printing, people are actually typing and writing. This place has got it going on. Charlotte is sticking with me. Now I have been seated in another office while Charlotte tries to push through my documents. I must look important today. Maybe its because I keep typing on my Blackberry.

10:52 Peopl are still typing and printing. This is the only government that employees can were baseball cpas at work. An LNP officer is staring at me. He and a fat guy in a pink shirt debated how strong I am. I pretended not to understand. The old guy next to me is a stapling machine.

11:04 Moved across the hall to the cashiers. Charlotte took my money then pushed to the front of the line. She is complaining about having to help me to a guy. I am pretending not to understand. I do feel a little bad. Everyone in her office is sitting around and she actually has to do work for her pay. Sorry Charlotte.

11:12 Gave up my chair to an old ma, was asked to wait in the hall. I wonder if there is power across the street at the Ministry of Transport yet?

11:19 Still waiting in the hall at Finance. I just realized I haven't eaten casasva leaf this week. I need to find some soon.

11:28 Still waiting in the hall. I will explain the reciept process now. The security guy, who is more like a doorman at a NY nightclub, allows only a certain number of people in at a time. Once you make it past him you wait to pay the cashier. After that you go back out into the hall and wait. Once there is a bundle of reciepts, someone hands them to the doorman. He then calls out your name and you collect the reciept. If Barack Obama wants to use those billions of dollars wisely he should implement a similar system in America. The number of jobs created by doing things the Liberian way would put a lot of people to work.

11:40 My receipt is out. So is a bunch of other peoples. Patiently I wait for the doorman to call my name.

11:54 Got receipt walked to Ministry of Education for photocopies. Then back to Transport where a very annoyed lady supervisor was waiting for me. Stil no power and everyone is on edge. She won't sign anything in the dark. She needs her florescent lights to verify these documents. Charlotte seems to be getting tired too. This solid hour and a half of work is taking its toll on her. She asks me to wait back in her office. There is nowhere to sit. Its almost lunchtime on a Friday. I think I may have to abandon this and try again next week. There is, however, a holiday on Monday so the three day weekend will probably leave the transport peole partied out by Tuesday.

12:01 Charlotte found me a chair.

12:04 I need to start carrying a spoon with me. Maybe I need one of those pocket knives with a spoon and a toothpick. I am getting hungry can you tell. Still no power.

12:12 It wasn't just when they were cleaning this morning. The Ministry of Transport smells like pee.

12:20 Charlotte is spraying the hallways with lysol. Apperently she could smell the pee too. Now it smells like peaches and watermelon masking the smell of stale urine.

12:24 There is no power still yet the Minister's office is airconditioned and he is using a doorbell to call Charlotte into his office. It digitally ding dongs and she gets up and goes it. Its almost Pavlovian. Paperwork seems to be getting done now despite the lack of electricity. I am hungry and my stick-to-it attitude is starting to waiver. I may be on the cusp of success but I could be days away from my documents. Blast, what should I do?

12:24 The news is that the Ministry of Transport is looking for a car to go get fuel for their generator. Some guy just walked in. His mustache looks like Yoda's ear hair. How does his wife kiss him. Literally some mustache hair would make it to her inches before his lips. I just grossed myself out writing that.

12:47 Charlotte told me the power would be on in an hour. I decided to take the opportunity to find some grub. When you are downtown in Monrovia nowhere does lunch better than Jamal's Pizzaria. Hello falafel!

12:50 Just so you know We Are The World is still a big song in Liberia. I hear it everywhere I go. Cyndi Lauper, Willie Nelson, and Michael Jackson really should have colaborated more often. The results could have been astronimical. The rest of the people on that song are hacks.

1:01 I wonder if the average Lebonese guy smokes an entire shipping container of cigarettes in a year.

1:03 The white people sitting next to me are the kind of people that work in Liberia so they can have something on their resume. A lot of the people that work for the UN are like that. They come on six month contracts in hopes they will get a more comfortable post the next time. Not to seem all hoity-toity but I feel like they are not in Liberia to help. I digress.

1:21 Done with lunch. Before I go I am taking the opportunity to use a flush toilet. I doubt the Ministry has one. Hopefully they found a car to go get gas for the generator.

1:35 Back at the Ministry and they have power! Charlotte didn't seem that excited to see me although she says the documents are on their way.

1:46 Due to the facts that Monday is a holiday, the Ministry didn't have power until after lunch, and that the usual government employee work day wraps up around 2PM things are getting a little stressful here. Everyone wants to drive to the beach for the holiday but they can't get their documents processed. I am back in the hallway waiting and this place is packed. Liberians don't believe in lines or waiting your turn so there are only mobs of people trying to get service. The only way to get help is to push harder and be louder than the next guy. Fortunately they are all on the other side of the hall. It is still pretty loud.

2:08 Broken chair in the hallway. Much better than standing. There is even a bit of a draft. The hallway is still busy and loud. Charlotte made a typing gesture at me as she walked by. Hold the phone! A huge LNP officer complete with riot helmet and cop mustache just rolled in. At least somebody knows what it takes to be an officer of the law. I am trying to get a better look. I thnink I am going to lose my seat. No luck on a second glance but I got my chair back.

2:21 Still in the hallway waiting. Got my chair back. People have started throwing their lunch garbage on the floor in front of bathroom. Try that stunt in America. Can you imagine? In line at the DMV and somebody tosses their whopper wrapper into the corner. Wait, some guy is leaning over a little too far to see that I am typing on my phone. I admit it. My every move is fascinating. Don't believe me? You think I am self-centered? Come over here and spend some time with me. Then you'll see. I am the whitest thing since sliced wonder bread.

2:42 I am getting close to my breaking poitn. My patiance is running out. The hallway is just clearing out and I am wondering if things are winding down for the day. I really don't want to go home empty handed. I don't have time to do this again. I desperately need Charlotte to stick with me, stay the course, and get this done. Can you imagne what Americans would do if it took us 5 or 6 hours to register a vehicle? Its amazing to me because they aren't even using typerwiters, they are using computers! I think someone needs a typing class.

2:54 Documents are in hand. This has been a ridiculous experience. Stay tuned because I need to renew my immigration paperwork next week.