Cultural Presentation

I give the kids at Francis Gaskin a little cultural presentation of my own. I have moves. I won't lie.

Baby Fever Redux!!!

After my first experience with the twins I went right out and bought a lappa to carry them around with. Brenda wasn't happy at first but she eventually came around.

Captain ORR

So this morning at devos we were talking about fighting off evils thoughts as a team. I admit I kind of zoned out and started thinking about how if all the people on our team got matching rings and if we all put our fists together at the right time a beam of light would shoot out and the devil would be vanquished. I realize this is very similar to how 5 culturaly diverse young people would summon Captain Planet but hey this is what I was thinking about. Then I realized that the rings never touch if you have just one on each hand. Wouldn't it be necessary if we were to summon the power of God to have the rings all touch. To solve this problem I came to the conclusion that we should all wear a pinky ring and a ring on our pointer fingers so that when all of our fists were thrust together the rings would touch and create the magic to ward off evil forces. I explained this all to Deb afterwords and she said something semi- profound. "Its a good thing we don't have to do al that to get God to listen." Good point Deb.

Babies...

I have never really liked babies in general. I think its weird that they have the same muscle systems I do but they insist on hitting themselves in the face and making choo-choos in their pants. Today though baby fever swept our house. Our laundry lady brought her twin 3 month olds to work. They are so tiny and they have matching gigantic foreheads. Like baby Klingons. It makes me wonder if I am cut out for fatherhood. I did baby-sit for my friend Keith the other day and I was completely exhausted. I don't know how parents do it. I want a baby but none of the work. Kind of like how I want a wife but don't always want to be in a relationship. Time will tell I guess maybe someday I will grow up and be a big boy.

Miss ELWA?

Every night for the last three weeks the nightclub next door has been hosting the qualifiers for the Miss ELWA competition. As I understand it if one wins the qualifier they then represent the community in th county competition. If you win county you go for Miss Liberia. These are not beauty pagents in the way the we understand them. There are no different parts to the competition like evening wear or talent. The girls basically dress up in the hoochiest gear they can muster and then walk up and down the stage like a bad runway model. They also get to state their name and the "platform" they are running on. Usually peace or development. Not really a stretch of the imagination. You or I would derive maybe ten to twenty minutes of entertainment from this but for the Liberians it is captivating. Unlike other beauty competitions there is a lot of audience participation. Audience members get drunk and throw money at the girls as they walk. The deliniation between a pagent and a strip club begins to become even more skewed at this point. You also have to pay to get in. This is beyond my comprehension. As someone who rarely pays to get into a bar or nightclub, its my right to drink if I want, I find it unbelievable that people will pay for this. Liberia is a country with 80 percent unemployment. It is beyond me where people are getting money for a cover charge, for throwing at girls, and for Heineken. (Club Beer is for poor people more on this another time) Its not just one night of this insanity, its six nights a week. How much more walking can these girls do? Another key element we have discovered is the introduction song. Its a mildly anoying Brirish pop song played for thirty seconds or so as the girls do their first walk and then introduce themselves and their platform. The begining of the song is played over and over for as each contestant takes their shot. Oh the humanity. I decided to reanact a typical walk employed by Liberian beauty pagent contestents. Enjoy the video and avoid the pageants!

One-Love

I have always thought my Liberian Husky One Love was a pretty sweet dog. I have never really looked back on his name and said "That's a stupid name for a dog, why not Fido or Spot." The other day, though, I was driving to my jobsite and I brought One Love along with me. I realized maybe I should have named him R2D2. Luke was always talking to R2. Even when they were alone. Like in the cockpit of his X-wing. So I tried it out just to see how it fit. I looked into my dogs deep brown eyes and spoke the words. "That's right R2 were going to the Degoba system. I have a promise to keep for an old friend." Brilliant, it felt so natural. One Love looked as if he understood too. There are so many applications to this. Except I don't think my loyal dog would be able to shut down any trash compactors any time soon.
I can't change his name now, its too late. If you get a new dog sometime soon consider naming it R2D2, the possabilities are endless.

Pringles...

Does anyone actually eat Pringles in America? I can think of maybe one occasion where I have. In Liberia they are the staple potato chip. Their long shelf life and non-crush packaging make them a shoo in for national imported crunchy snack. I suppose we could always buy the South African Lion brand chips at the expensive supermarkets but their psychedelic flavors like salt and pepper, chutney, sweet chile, and paprika are just a turn off. Also on the Pringles note have you ever eaten them with friends and somebody doesn't do the opposite facing chip duckbill thing? Discuss. Well enough on Pringles. Enjoy all of the great snack foods you have access to and remember that some Liberian kid will probably never get to have Fritos Scoops, Wavy Lays, or Combos.

Ants Death III

Candy Bars.

I began to develop a theory about candy bars last night. I realized that I can eat a lot of some things but not others. Like I can eat giant buckets of popcorn at the movies but only one candy bar at a time. Then I started thinking about it and I found a hole in my candy bar theory. If those mini hershey bar mixes are at a party I will munch on bite sized Mr. Goodbars and Krackels until my teeth hurt. So why can't I handle the thought of two Snickers bars back to back? I don't even think I could eat a Kit Kat followed directly by a Twix if it came down to it. Then I moved past little candy bars and remembered times I have eaten a one pound bag of M&Ms in a short period of time. So what is it about the bar that seems so indulgent? Is it the size? I can eat three times the weight of Reeses Pieces as Baby Ruths. Is it just me? I think I need to break through the cycle of fear that is gripping me and just eat a crapload of candy. Then I will have overcome.

Ants Death II

Ants Death

Chops

All I know is that today our housekeeper looked at me and said under her breath "A sea captain, a sea captain." Its true, and I have been out to sea for a long time.

Sunsets

I was standing in my doorway with my beloved dog, One Love, watching the sun set after another steaming Liberian day and something strange happened. I started to think that while bLogs are somewhat interactive, no one has really tried to capture the essence of humanity through bLogging. I want to take this opportunity to try something new. If you have a guitar get it out. If not just sing along with the rest of us. I am inviting you to sing with me a deep and meaningful song in my life about unity and God's amazing creation. As you are singing maybe someone else will be singing along at out bLog campfire. I pray you feel the same joy and connection to creation that I feel when I sing. So lets try it. Oh by the way if you want to post a video response to this in the comments section I strongly encourage it. I think it will add to the effect. So 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4...

C Em F G
It only takes a spark to get a fire going.
C F G
And soon all those around, can warm up in glowing.
F
That's how it is with God's love,
Dm G Dm7 G Dm7 C
Once you've experienced it, you spread His love to everyone;
F
You want to pass it on.

What a wondrous time is spring, when all the trees are budding;
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming.
That's how it is with God's love;
Once you've experienced it, you want to sing
"It's fresh like spring"; you want to pass it on.

I wish for you my friend, this happiness that I've found.
You can depend on Him, it matters not where you're bound.
I'll shout it from the mountain top - PRAISE GOD
I want the world to know; the Lord of love has come to me,
I want to pass it on.

Foya

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to go to Foya with my friend Kevin. It's way up in Lofa county, almost as far away from Monrovia as you can go. At 6 am or so we piled into a Land Cruiser and headed out of town. The roads are paved until you get to Gbanga and then its dirt roads for the next six hours or so.

We passed through some beautiful country, especially the the bridge into Lofa County. The river has moving fast from all the rain.

Kevin and I took some Yamaha AG 100's out for a spin and it was a blast. I have never really ridden dirt bikes or anything that small before so it was a little hard to get used to. The terrain was not easy either. Lots of mud, ruts, rocks, and a couple log bridges. Needles to say i took a few spills. The worst one my back tire dropped into a rut that was a couple feet deep and i jammed my wrist and banged up my knees. I got back on though and am I glad I did. we rode all the way to the border of Guinea and the landscape almost changes right at the border. From the jungles of Liberia opened up grasslands with huge domes of rock jutting out.

Kevin also showed me a pine forest that the Liberians had planted to get telephone and electric poles. The war started and the plantation was neglected. So in this tropical jungle is a pine forest with all the smells of one at home. It was bizarre.

I am also including a picture of a lady weaving country cloth and some coffee beans that should be pretty good in the spring. I am excited.

Liberia: An Exodus

I equate the current state of Liberia to be not unlike Isreal waking out from Egypt and moving towards the promised land. The tradition of the exodus has many applications in both our political and spiritual lives just like it did for Isreal all those years ago. Since its inception Liberia has been throwing off the yolk of its oppressors, leaving slavery in America to come and create a "free land". Unfortunately the "Love of Liberty" found some people here and it didn't take long for the Americo-Liberians to put natives under a similar yolk to the one they had just left. For over 100 years this stood and a society of inequality was built, the pitting of tribes against each other and a culture of corruption and power seeking was cultivated. A gap was growing, the rich got richer on the backs of the poor. It is, therefore, no surprise to me that in 1980 Samuel Doe, one of these oppressed would overthrow the power structure. Now, when Doe took over he had a choice. He could have leveled the playing field and made all Liberians truly equal. But he had been watching the rich for all to long and he took on their ways. Then Taylor came and took power, and he could have leveled the playing field and made all Liberians truly equal. But he too had learned the lessons of the past and the power went to his head. If fourteen years of war has done one thing, it has gotten us to where we are today. Out of Egypt. Out from under oppressive regimes. Across the red sea into freedom. Now we haven't reached the promised land yet. There is still a long way to go. Moses and the isrealites spent forty years in the wildernes. A whole generation passed before they would reach the promised land. So this generation needs to lay the foundation for a fair society. This generation needs to look long and hard at God's commandments to the Isrealites. When Isreal was in the wilderness Egyptian society was all they had known but God gave them instructions on how to create a different kind of society. If Liberians truly took the ten commandments to heart, they could be a shining example to not just west Africa but mankind as a whole. Stay away from the false gods of greed, corruption, and violence. Stay focused on the prize. God is calling you Liberia, will you reach the promised land?

ode to the tata

well at lunch today i wrote a beautiful poem to the little truck that could. but then my blacberry lost it when i synched with my computer. to sum it up i wrote of my eternal dracula like love to the very mortal truck. sorry i lost it.

So I started this blog and now I realize there are some things you should know about me.
My name is Matthew L Cramer.
I live in Liberia.
I am single by chance and choice depending on what day it is.
I am subject to outbursts of laughter and meloncholy.
I don't know why you will care about any of this but I hope I can give you some insight into the splendiforousness of me and give myself an outlet.

New bLog

Well i have broken down and gotten a blog again. I hope to update constantly on all things Cramer. hope you enjoy.