Captain ORR

So this morning at devos we were talking about fighting off evils thoughts as a team. I admit I kind of zoned out and started thinking about how if all the people on our team got matching rings and if we all put our fists together at the right time a beam of light would shoot out and the devil would be vanquished. I realize this is very similar to how 5 culturaly diverse young people would summon Captain Planet but hey this is what I was thinking about. Then I realized that the rings never touch if you have just one on each hand. Wouldn't it be necessary if we were to summon the power of God to have the rings all touch. To solve this problem I came to the conclusion that we should all wear a pinky ring and a ring on our pointer fingers so that when all of our fists were thrust together the rings would touch and create the magic to ward off evil forces. I explained this all to Deb afterwords and she said something semi- profound. "Its a good thing we don't have to do al that to get God to listen." Good point Deb.

Babies...

I have never really liked babies in general. I think its weird that they have the same muscle systems I do but they insist on hitting themselves in the face and making choo-choos in their pants. Today though baby fever swept our house. Our laundry lady brought her twin 3 month olds to work. They are so tiny and they have matching gigantic foreheads. Like baby Klingons. It makes me wonder if I am cut out for fatherhood. I did baby-sit for my friend Keith the other day and I was completely exhausted. I don't know how parents do it. I want a baby but none of the work. Kind of like how I want a wife but don't always want to be in a relationship. Time will tell I guess maybe someday I will grow up and be a big boy.

Miss ELWA?

Every night for the last three weeks the nightclub next door has been hosting the qualifiers for the Miss ELWA competition. As I understand it if one wins the qualifier they then represent the community in th county competition. If you win county you go for Miss Liberia. These are not beauty pagents in the way the we understand them. There are no different parts to the competition like evening wear or talent. The girls basically dress up in the hoochiest gear they can muster and then walk up and down the stage like a bad runway model. They also get to state their name and the "platform" they are running on. Usually peace or development. Not really a stretch of the imagination. You or I would derive maybe ten to twenty minutes of entertainment from this but for the Liberians it is captivating. Unlike other beauty competitions there is a lot of audience participation. Audience members get drunk and throw money at the girls as they walk. The deliniation between a pagent and a strip club begins to become even more skewed at this point. You also have to pay to get in. This is beyond my comprehension. As someone who rarely pays to get into a bar or nightclub, its my right to drink if I want, I find it unbelievable that people will pay for this. Liberia is a country with 80 percent unemployment. It is beyond me where people are getting money for a cover charge, for throwing at girls, and for Heineken. (Club Beer is for poor people more on this another time) Its not just one night of this insanity, its six nights a week. How much more walking can these girls do? Another key element we have discovered is the introduction song. Its a mildly anoying Brirish pop song played for thirty seconds or so as the girls do their first walk and then introduce themselves and their platform. The begining of the song is played over and over for as each contestant takes their shot. Oh the humanity. I decided to reanact a typical walk employed by Liberian beauty pagent contestents. Enjoy the video and avoid the pageants!

One-Love

I have always thought my Liberian Husky One Love was a pretty sweet dog. I have never really looked back on his name and said "That's a stupid name for a dog, why not Fido or Spot." The other day, though, I was driving to my jobsite and I brought One Love along with me. I realized maybe I should have named him R2D2. Luke was always talking to R2. Even when they were alone. Like in the cockpit of his X-wing. So I tried it out just to see how it fit. I looked into my dogs deep brown eyes and spoke the words. "That's right R2 were going to the Degoba system. I have a promise to keep for an old friend." Brilliant, it felt so natural. One Love looked as if he understood too. There are so many applications to this. Except I don't think my loyal dog would be able to shut down any trash compactors any time soon.
I can't change his name now, its too late. If you get a new dog sometime soon consider naming it R2D2, the possabilities are endless.

Pringles...

Does anyone actually eat Pringles in America? I can think of maybe one occasion where I have. In Liberia they are the staple potato chip. Their long shelf life and non-crush packaging make them a shoo in for national imported crunchy snack. I suppose we could always buy the South African Lion brand chips at the expensive supermarkets but their psychedelic flavors like salt and pepper, chutney, sweet chile, and paprika are just a turn off. Also on the Pringles note have you ever eaten them with friends and somebody doesn't do the opposite facing chip duckbill thing? Discuss. Well enough on Pringles. Enjoy all of the great snack foods you have access to and remember that some Liberian kid will probably never get to have Fritos Scoops, Wavy Lays, or Combos.

Ants Death III

Candy Bars.

I began to develop a theory about candy bars last night. I realized that I can eat a lot of some things but not others. Like I can eat giant buckets of popcorn at the movies but only one candy bar at a time. Then I started thinking about it and I found a hole in my candy bar theory. If those mini hershey bar mixes are at a party I will munch on bite sized Mr. Goodbars and Krackels until my teeth hurt. So why can't I handle the thought of two Snickers bars back to back? I don't even think I could eat a Kit Kat followed directly by a Twix if it came down to it. Then I moved past little candy bars and remembered times I have eaten a one pound bag of M&Ms in a short period of time. So what is it about the bar that seems so indulgent? Is it the size? I can eat three times the weight of Reeses Pieces as Baby Ruths. Is it just me? I think I need to break through the cycle of fear that is gripping me and just eat a crapload of candy. Then I will have overcome.

Ants Death II

Ants Death

Chops

All I know is that today our housekeeper looked at me and said under her breath "A sea captain, a sea captain." Its true, and I have been out to sea for a long time.